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A hazy, enigmatic story of
intrigue on the kaleidoscope of
characters one meets on the
hospital ward, written by the
masterful Chris Bird
Part I
The numbers worked insistently to
define and describe new, unique
meanings. My glance detected
patterns and sequences that
glowed with an intense relevance
that sometimes shifted, gradually
outlining a malevolent intent. The
windows of the ward were windows
that could not be opened. The Spring
was detained under grave suspicion
beyond the dull glass.
I spent most of my day in my room on a thick, immovable mattress. In the dining room there were throne-like immovable chairs and tables made of submarine iron. Light bled in neon strips in the nurse's office. They came out like harassed wasps and buzzed purposely around the patients.
The new patient stood in the TV room in a suede jacket decorated with a peace badge. He had annoyed every soul on the ward. His floppy fringe alone had virtually sealed his fate. By mistake he had accidentally entered another patients room. The consequences of this oversight had still not played out fully. He was quite possibly stealing but l doubt he needed to. He was very posh. Dominic was his name. Had he been a Tory it would have been easier to dislike him. He wore an expensive watch on his young wrist.
Paul loomed over everyone, dressed in a grey blanket like a jaded chieftain from ancient Britain. He banged the desk at the nurse's station if he was annoyed or agitated. He moved with formidable power but at the same time reminded me of a giant child. He spoke in a mix of Afro Caribbean and cockney slang with a crazed smile but his huge eyes suggested compassion. "You wanna git a big, long rest in ta garden," he repeatedly exclaimed to me like a psychotic doctor from a nightmare. "Ok" l replied noticing one of his thick wrists was bandaged. He strode off dragging the grimy blanket on the polished floor.
Mohammad was quiet and thoughtful. His eyes spoke in silent wisdom. He stayed in the shadows of the day mumbling gently to himself. His chin bore white stubble and his hands trembled. I liked both Paul and Mohamed. Soon we were allies in a murder plot.
Part II
The long run of numbers flowed from
some definite source, urgent with a
pulse of meaning. I let the gigantic
fangs glistening with numbers and
letters crush my head. The voices
shimmered in hidden recesses
insisting on an emotional equation
and daybreak analysis.
Paul refused to eat the "muck" served in the ward kitchen and he soon alienated the lady who dutifully served the dinners. Mohammad was grateful for every morsel it seemed. He ate with slow, determined dignity as if every meal was his last. The head nurse reminded us of 'activities' in the afternoon. A kind lady called Harriet waltzed in with jigsaws, crossword books and other delights.
Outside, birds fluttered around a pond in the afternoon garden. I counted the birds everyday. Paul was a strong and brave bird like a valiant eagle. Mohammad was an owl, subtle and cautious. I was a caged robin lost in the wrong season and time. I had forgotten how to sing.
Part III
The voices danced around my
head in ocean waves. Mechanical
movements rushed here and there
like the hands of a decrepit clock.
Tom stood in the doorway to my
room. He needed cigarette papers.
His Liverpool accent cut through
the dark. He had a furtive, detached
quality and had done a lot of bird
(cockney rhyming slang for time, of
course) in Pentonville Prison.
"Only nicked for gear," he had explained. I regarded him as a potential threat. His pasty white face was gaunt and menacing in a junkie way. I tossed him a half full packet of rizzlas. He left immediately without a word of thanks.
Part IV
The dream centred around a
machine that buzzed excitedly in the
clouds. The immense city shone. It
dictated words and phrases as well
as actions to the commuters in the
city. Each commuter had a sequence
of symbols to delineate their day.
Statues and monuments watched
the whole fake charade. Everyone
knew their lines, their expressions.
Everything was decided and pre
ordained. Even the rain showers
were timed precisely. I looked at the
centre of my palm.
October – November 2024 : Change
CONTENTS
BACK ISSUES
- Issue 152 : October – November 2024 : Change
- Issue 151 : August – September 2024 : Being Heard
- Issue 150 : June – July 2024 : Reflections
- Issue 149 : April – May 2024 : Compassion
- Issue 148 : February – March 2024 : The little things
- Issue 147 : December 2023 – January 2024 : Next steps
- Issue 146 : October 2023 – November 2023 : Kind acts
- Issue 145 : August 2023 – September 2023 : Mental health
- Issue 144 : June 2023 – July 2023 : Community
- Issue 143 : April 2023 - May 2023 : Hope springs
- Issue 142 : February 2023 - March 2023 : New Beginnings
- Issue 141 : December 2022 - January 2023 : Winter Homeless
- Issue 140 : October - November 2022 : Resolve
- Issue 139 : August - September 2022 : Creativity
- Issue 138 : June - July 2022 : Practical advice
- Issue 137 : April - May 2022 : Connection
- Issue 136 : February - March 2022 : RESPECT
- Issue 135 : Dec 2021 - Jan 2022 : OPPORTUNITY
- Issue 134 : September-October 2021 : Losses and gains
- Issue 133 : July-August 2021 : Know Your Rights
- Issue 132 : May-June 2021 : Access to Healthcare
- Issue 131 : Mar-Apr 2021 : SOLUTIONS
- Issue 130 : Jan-Feb 2021 : CHANGE
- Issue 129 : Nov-Dec 2020 : UNBELIEVABLE
- Issue 128 : Sep-Oct 2020 : COPING
- Issue 127 : Jul-Aug 2020 : HOPE
- Issue 126 : Health & Wellbeing in a Crisis
- Issue 125 : Mar-Apr 2020 : MOVING ON
- Issue 124 : Jan-Feb 2020 : STREET FOOD
- Issue 123 : Nov-Dec 2019 : HOSTELS
- Issue 122 : Sep 2019 : DEATH ON THE STREETS
- Issue 121 : July-Aug 2019 : INVISIBLE YOUTH
- Issue 120 : May-June 2019 : RECOVERY
- Issue 119 : Mar-Apr 2019 : WELLBEING
- Issue 118 : Jan-Feb 2019 : WORKING HOMELESS
- Issue 117 : Nov-Dec 2018 : HER STORY
- Issue 116 : Sept-Oct 2018 : TOILET TALK
- Issue 115 : July-Aug 2018 : HIDDEN HOMELESS
- Issue 114 : May-Jun 2018 : REBUILD YOUR LIFE
- Issue 113 : Mar–Apr 2018 : REMEMBRANCE
- Issue 112 : Jan-Feb 2018
- Issue 111 : Nov-Dec 2017
- Issue 110 : Sept-Oct 2017
- Issue 109 : July-Aug 2017
- Issue 108 : Apr-May 2017
- Issue 107 : Feb-Mar 2017
- Issue 106 : Dec 2016 - Jan 2017
- Issue 105 : Oct-Nov 2016
- Issue 104 : Aug-Sept 2016
- Issue 103 : May-June 2016
- Issue 102 : Mar-Apr 2016
- Issue 101 : Jan-Feb 2016
- Issue 100 : Nov-Dec 2015
- Issue 99 : Sept-Oct 2015
- Issue 98 : July-Aug 2015
- Issue 97 : May-Jun 2015
- Issue 96 : April 2015 [Mini Issue]
- Issue 95 : March 2015
- Issue 94 : February 2015
- Issue 93 : December 2014
- Issue 92 : November 2014
- Issue 91 : October 2014
- Issue 90 : September 2014
- Issue 89 : July 2014
- Issue 88 : June 2014
- Issue 87 : May 2014
- Issue 86 : April 2014
- Issue 85 : March 2014
- Issue 84 : February 2014
- Issue 83 : December 2013
- Issue 82 : November 2013
- Issue 81 : October 2013
- Issue 80 : September 2013
- Issue 79 : June 2013
- Issue 78 : 78
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- Issue 48 : 48
- Issue 47 : 47
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- Issue 45 : 45
- Issue 44 : 44
- Issue 43 : 43
- Issue 42 : 42
- Issue 5 : 05
- Issue 4 : 04
- Issue 2 : 02
- Issue 1 : 01
- Issue 41 : 41
- Issue 40 : 40
- Issue 39 : 39
- Issue 38 : 38
- Issue 37 : 37
- Issue 36 : 36
- Issue 35 : 35
- Issue 34 : 34
- Issue 33 : 33
- Issue 10 : 10
- Issue 9 : 09
- Issue 6 : 06
- Issue 3 : 03
- Issue 32 : 32
- Issue 31 : 31
- Issue 30 : 30
- Issue 29 : 29
- Issue 11 : 11
- Issue 12 : 12
- Issue 13 : 13
- Issue 14 : 14
- Issue 15 : 15
- Issue 16 : 16
- Issue 17 : 17
- Issue 18 : 18
- Issue 19 : 19
- Issue 20 : 20
- Issue 21 : 21
- Issue 22 : 22
- Issue 23 : 23
- Issue 24 : 24
- Issue 25 : 25
- Issue 8 : 08
- Issue 7 : 07
- Issue 26 : 26
- Issue 27 : 27
- Issue 28 : 28
- Issue 1 : 01